I have finally come to a point in my life where I am finally getting the change that I have wanted for so long. By the end of this next week I am going to officially be a stay at home mom. (Now that I have finally put in my two weeks I can post it publicly). Making this decision is something I know that I have wanted for a long time. Pretty much since I had to go back to work from maternity leave about two years ago. However, wanting this for so long does not lessen the fact that it is both exciting and terrifying at the same time. There is definitely some major fears, like hopefully we can pay all of our bills on just one income, will I completely lose my ability to socialize, will I become resentful of the people that are able to speak to adults everyday, etc? But when I really think about it all I keep thinking is that my little guy is only little once and I have definitely put in my time working since I was 17 so a little bit of a break is probably going to be a good thing. I have worked in retail for the past 12 years and I am so sick of cranky and angry customers and stores staffing less and less people that I am just worn out with the whole thing. I am ready for a change. I am ready to spend time with my family and spend time enjoying the holidays again. Retail tends to take the joys out of holidays. From listening to the non-stop awful Christmas music to having to work on Thanksgiving, last year the only holiday spirit that I could muster up was to only manage to get our tree standing. (At least it was pre lit so it looked a little festive)
My plan for this holiday season is to really get into it again. It also helps that my little guys is two and a half is has been completely obsessed with Santa and snowmen since June. I cannot wait to see his face when we put the tree up and when we go to see Santa. He is definitely the reason that being a stay at home mom is going to be worth it. He is worth me pushing aside my fears of everything going wrong because deep down I know that this is the right decision.
I am also hoping to really get some more projects going as well. This way I will be able to share them with all of you, so definitely be on the look out for that in the next couple of months. There have been a lot of projects and stuff that I just haven’t really had the time for that I should have the time for now. It just might take us a little bit to get used to a new routine to where I have that extra time.
And for those mom’s out there that are really trying to figure out whether this is something that you want to do, make out a pros and cons list and really weigh the options. All mine had in the cons list dealt with a fear of money and having to cut back on extra stuff. None of that seemed to compare to spending the time that I will never get back with my son. We can always make more money. We cannot, however, get more time.