I don’t know about any of you but ever since I had my son I have definitely have seen my guilty conscious spike every time I spend any money. I feel much better whenever I spend money on my son rather than spending any money on myself. Even if I need something new like a pair of jeans since I only have one pair that fit me right now. This weekend my money guilt has come up in full force when we bought a new computer this weekend so I can really start working on this blog again. We have needed a new computer for a while now and when I finally said that’s it we are buying a new one I was so excited. Then once we got it and we were in the car I felt extreme guilt since it wasn’t for the family and I am going to be the only on primarily using it. But the whole truth of the matter is that we need at least one working computer in our house.
I think that the biggest reason I feel so guilty about it is that I became a stay at home mom in November of last year. Now I pretty much have to answer to my husband whenever I spend any money. I know that there are other stay at home moms feel the same way. We love that we are able to spend time with our kids and we love and are very thankful to the people that help make it possible to stay at home and raise our little ones. However, for those of us that are not used to always being asked about what they spend some money on it is very tough. I really feel like I am not contributing to the family even though I am taking care of our little guy pretty much by myself for most of our days. (A year ago I was doing that and I was also working a full time job).
Learning to let go of the guilt over spending money and making sure we are making smart purchases is really what needs to start happening. As well as better communication between spouses to make this guilt not feel as great. I am also looking into different things that I can do from home that do not involve a lot of start up costs but will also help me to contribute financially to the family. Even if it is just a couple hundred dollars a month. Until then, taking deep breaths and realizing that this is what I chose that I wanted and I need to be thankful for being able to spend my days watching my little man grow. Before long he is going to be in school and I will not get to see him every day all day long.